Lost: Ashley's Tale
by mickeycee
Summary: This is the re-telling of Lost with the addition of a character. It always made me sad to see Boone in the afterlife all alone, so this is my attempt to fix that. It's very true to the show, with additional story lines seen through Ashley's eyes.
1. Pilot Part 1

**Okay, so here's the deal. This is my first Lost fanfiction, and I've really always wanted to rewrite it with the addition of a character, so I'm doing this really for my own satisfaction rather than for readers. I wasn't even going to post it online, but I decided, what's the harm? So, it's going to follow the exact format of the show, but it will be told through the eyes of a character I've created, who I loosely based on myself. I've already written the first five chapters, so they'll all probably be up very soon. I got the idea when I had a dream that I was on the island with all of the characters, so, enjoy!**

Pilot Part 1

I opened my eyes after hearing the blood curdling screams. A lot of people would've thought they were dreaming, but to me, nothing had ever felt more real. I sprung to my feet as fast as I could, and briefly took in my surroundings. People were screaming, running around, some were dead, some were injured. As I noticed this, I felt a sharp pain in my back, but I decided to shrug it off. I saw someone sprinting to the scene from the jungle and soon noticed it was a man in a suit coming towards us. The first thing he did was try to help some guy who had been hurt. I looked around, trying to see if anyone else needed assistance. I noticed a pretty pregnant girl and something in me felt the need to go over to her.

"Are you okay?" I asked as she winced.

"Yeah, I'm - " Just then, she grabbed her protruding belly and cried out in pain, "Ahhh! It - It hurts."

"You're going to be okay," I assured her, squeezing her hand.

"Are you a doctor?" she asked in her thick Australian accent.

"No," I said apologetically.

"I am," came a voice from behind me. I spun around to find the man that I had noticed in the suit. He was enormously tall and extremely handsome. I stepped out of the way to let him check her out.

"How lucky for you," I told her.

"Somehow I'm not feeling so lucky," she said, looking around at the situation we had landed ourselves in, "I'm having contractions."

"That's not ideal... How many months pregnant are you?"

"Almost eight months," she answered.

He looked over at something, and I followed his eyes. It was an elderly woman who was unconscious. I nodded at him reassuringly and rushed over to see what was happening. The woman was being looked after by a devestatingly attractive guy who seemed to be in his early twenties.

"Is she breathing?" I asked worriedly.

"No," he responded, without tearing his eyes off the elderly lady. I looked over at the man and the pregnant girl, who were now joined by a ridiculously obese man with a baby face. The big guy carried the pregnant girl away, and the doctor started coming towards us.

"Stop. Her head's not tilted back far enough, you're blowing air into her stomach," he said, taking over for the guy.

"Are you sure?" he asked uncertainly, "I'm a lifeguard. I'm licensed!"

"You seriously need to think about giving back that licence," he said as he continued to breath into her mouth and pump on her chest. Despite the circumstances, I couldn't help smirking to myself for a moment or so.

"That's exactly what I was doing!" he said. He then decided to turn to me, "Are you all right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked sarcastically.

"Because the entire back of your shirt if covered in blood, and you're sort of leaking," he answered.

The doctor's head turned toward me and he bit his lower lip, "He's right. You're bleeding pretty badly."

"I may not be any good at CPR, but I can definitely get you cleaned up," he said.

"You should go," the doctor advised, "Before you get an infection."

"Getting an infection is the least of my problems," I responded.

"There's nothing you can do here," he told me, "Just go, okay?"

I nodded slowly and began to walk away. I stopped and turned around, "What's your name?" I called.

"Jack!" he yelled after me.

The two of us walked over to the water and he turned me around, "Um - You're gonna have to lift up your shirt."

"I usually at least get taken to dinner first, but I guess I'll make an exception considering the circumstances," I said as I pulled my shirt off over my head. I noticed a guy with light hair and blue eyes stop walking. He looked at me and grinned, showing off his dimples, which would've been adorable, if he hadn't been checking me out in the middle of a goddamn plane crash. I rolled my eyes and ignored it.

"So, what's your name?" he asked as he started cleaning the cuts.

"Ashley," I answered, "What's yours?"

"Boone," he replied, "Were you with anyone on the plane?"

"Yeah, my cousin," I said, remembering. I shot up and looked around, "Oh my God, where's Sophia?"

He finished cleaning me up, and I thanked him and ran off. I saw him go back to Jack and his patient. "Sophia?" I called, looking around wildly, "Sophia!" All around me, I saw people reuniting with loved ones. An asian couple had just found one another, a man had just located his son, and here I was, alone.

"Who are you looking for?" a woman's voice asked. I turned around to be greeted by a pale girl with freckles, light green eyes, and curly brown hair. I immediately recognized her from the plane.

"My cousin," I answered weakly, still searching the area.

"Okay, what does she look like?" she asked.

"She's about your height," I replied, "She's got light brown hair and hazel eyes. She was wearing a yellow tank top and ripped jean shorts."

"We'll find her," the girl told me, "What's your name, anyway?"

"Ashley," I said absently.

"It's nice to meet you," she said, half-smiling, "I'm Kate."

"It's nice to meet you, too," I said, looking her in the eye, "Though, it'd be a lot nicer if we were soaring above this place right now instead of stranded on it."

My eyes widened as I saw the wing begin to collapse. "Move!" I screamed at the guy who had watched me take my shirt off, "Get out of the way!" I started running towards him. I pushed him out of the way and we both tumbled into the sand.

"Well, that's my second near death experience of the day," he said, looking over at the fallen wing.

"You're welcome," I snapped as he stood up. He held out his hand to me, but I didn't take it, "I'm sure there's another bleeding girl you can check out now."

"You saw that, huh?" he asked, smirking.

"How could I not?" I asked, turning around to walk away.

"Catch ya later, wonder woman," he called after me.

"That was pretty impressive," I heard a voice say as I was walking back to where I had been.

I looked up to see Kate smiling at me, "Well, it would've sucked to survive the crash only to get crushed to death by that thing."

She cracked a smile at that, "That's true. Did - Did I see you on the plane or something?"

I bit my bottom lip uncomfortably, "Uh - yeah, I... I saw you," then I looked up to meet her eyes, "Don't worry. I'm not going to tell anyone. And not out of fear, either," I added, trying to lighten the mood with a joke, "It isn't anyone's business but yours. Your secret's safe with me, Kate."

She exhaled, and looked relieved, "Thank you."

"No problem," I said casually, "You don't have to worry about me judging you, either. What you did and who you are are two entirely different things. You get a fresh start here."

"Sounds like the words of someone whose done a thing or two of her own," Kate commented.

"I guess you could say that," I said thoughtfully, "I'm gonna go see if anyone needs any help. I'll see you around."

"Yeah. See ya."

I sat down in the sand and stared into space for a moment or two. The fat guy I had seen earlier came over with food, "Hungry?"

"Starving," I answered, just realizing it myself, "I'm Ashley, by the way."

"Hurley," he said, handing me some food he must've found on the plane.

"It's nice to meet you," I said, smiling at him.

"Yeah, you too," he said, smiling boyishly as he continued handing out food.

"How's that back doing?" a voice from behind me asked. Someone sat down next to me and I carefully turned.

"It's fine, thanks," I replied.

"I heard you were looking for someone," Jack said.

"I lost my cousin," I explained, "I had fallen asleep on the plane and when the turbulence hit, I woke up, and she was gone."

"Maybe she was in the tail section at the time," he suggested.

"It doesn't really matter," I whispered, "Either way, she's gone, isn't she?" I could tell he wasn't sure what to say next, so I decided to lighten things a bit, "If the tail section is out there somewhere, they're pretty misforunate that the front half got the doctor."

He smiled, "Maybe they have one, too."

"Maybe," I said dazedly, "What were you doing in Australia?"

"I was trying to escape for a little while," I answered softly, telling myself that I was partly telling the truth to ease the guilt over lying to a perfectly nice guy.

"Escape what?" he wondered.

"My life," I answered simply.

"That bad?" he questioned.

I grinned, "Worse."

"You never told me your name," he reminded me.

"It's Ashley," I told him, "How old are you?"

"Thirty-four," Jack replied, "What about you?"

"I've been drinking for a year," I told him, "Well... Legally, anyway."

He chuckled and I offered him some of my food, when a loud noise sounded from the jungle. Everybody instantly jumped to their feet as the sound continued. I looked around at my fellow castaways and could tell they were all frightened. Once I reached the group that was closest to the source of the noise, I heard someone say, "It wasn't natural, whatever it was."

"That sound it made - I kept thinking there was something familiar about it," the elderly black woman who Jack had saved commented.

"Really? Where are you from?" a tall girl with short blonde hair who had been screaming earlier asked.

"The Bronx," she replied.

"Really?" I heard myself saying without thinking, "So am I."

"It could've been something like monkeys," a guy with a British accent suggested.

"Yeah, I'm sure it was monkeys. It's Monkey Island," the guy I had helped earlier said.

"Technically, you know, we don't even know if we're on an island," Hurley remarked.

"We're on an island," the Indian guy I had briefly noticed earlier said flatly.

The next morning I overheard Jack, Kate, and the guy with the British accent saying something about looking for another part of the plane. I quickly caught up with them, "Hey, wait up!" I hollered.

The three of them spun around, "I'm coming with you guys."

"I don't think that's - " Jack began, but I cut him off.

"I appreciate your concern, Jack, but I want to come, and there really isn't anything you can say or do to stop me. My cousin's out there somewhere, and if you guys know where a part of the plane landed, then I'm going. Case closed." I was slightly annoyed that Jack tried to tell me not to come. Who did he think he was, anyway? He had no right to tell me what to do. I wasn't a little kid. I was twenty-two years old, damn it. But I guess my tiny stature didn't help my situation much. I was unbelievably short for my age. Everyone probably thought I was about fourteen. I had never hit the five foot mark, so I assumed it was difficult for people to take me seriously.

Everyone stood there for a moment, staring at me wordlessly. Jack couldn't figure out anything to say, so he relented. We made our way into the jungle, and I zoned in and out of a conversation Kate was having with the British guy. Something about a band, I wasn't really paying attention.

"Hello? Anyone in there?"

I realized I was being spoken to and snapped back into reality, "Sorry," I apologized, "I'm kind of out of it."

"Can't really blame you," the British guy said understandingly, "Well, I was asking your name."

"Oh, it's Ashley," I said.

"I'm Charlie," he told me, "It's nice to meet you."

"Right back at ya," I said, smiling.

We continued getting to know one another as we continued our hike. I learned that Charlie had been in a band called Drive Shaft, which I had never heard of. Kate did, however, which I'm sure boosted his ego a bit. I learned that Charlie was 28 and Kate was 27. Charlie was from Manchester, Kate from Iowa, and Jack from California.

"So, it must be pretty cool living in New York," Charlie said, trying to make conversation.

"It's only cool when you're not from there," I told him, "It's home, though. It's not like I'm from Manhattan or anything. I'm from the part of New York everyone's afraid of."

He laughed, "Well, you don't look so scary."

"That's because you haven't given me a reason to yet," I stated.

"Well, I'll be sure to not get on your bad side, then," he responded.

Finally, they came across the front section of the plane. It was a complete disaster. "Now I'm hoping she isn't here," I muttered.

"She could've survived," Charlie told me comfortingly.

I half-smiled at him appreciatively, "Let's just get this over with," I said, leading the rest of them toward the plane.

"Over here!" Kate called, obviously having found the entrance. She went in first, and the first thing I noticed was the look of uneasiness on her face as I made my way through. I followed her eyes and realized what she must have been gawking at.

"Oh," I said, looking around at all of the dead bodies on the plane. I immediately began searching through them. I was immensely thankful when Sophia didn't show up, "Hey, are you all right?" I asked Kate.

"Yeah," she said unsurely as Jack made his way onto the plane and Charlie followed close behind. Jack followed our eyes and gazed at the corpses wordlessly.

"Let's find your transgizmo and get outta here, yeah?" said Charlie as he made his way onto the plane. "God...This is horrible..." Charlie said, getting his first clear look at the scene before us.

"Yeah," I agreed, still focusing on Kate's face.

"You seem so relaxed. How is that?" she wanted to know.

"Let's just say I'm really skilled at detaching myself," I answered.

"What are you, a cop?" she joked.

I shook my head, "I'm a lot of things, but a cop definitely isn't one of them." Everyone tried to keep steady and not fall. The rain was pounding on the top portion of the plane. "Not exactly the most desirable weather conditions for this sort of thing," I commented.

"Are there good weather conditions for this sort of thing?" Jack asked.

"Good point," I muttered.

Jack made his way over to the door of the cockpit. It had taken a slight beating during the crash. It was locked, and no matter how hard Jack pulled, it simply wouldn't budge. He looked around, and then grabbed at a fire extinguisher, "Get back!" he said to us.

We obeyed, and Jack slammed the fire extinguisher into the door knob with what appeared to be great force. It sort of worked. The lock broke a bit, but it wasn't enough yet. He tried again, this time even harder. "Come on, come on, come on!" he yelled as he kept beating the door with the extinguisher. Finally, the knob broke off and Jack released the fire extinguisher from his grasp.

He quickly opened the door, and no sooner than he did, a body came falling out. Kate and Jack yelled out, and the pilot's body landed right next to Charlie. Then, he screamed as well, "Ahh! Damn! God!"

Jack looks over at Kate and I, "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded slowly and Kate said, "Yeah, you?"

"I'm all right!" Charlie burst out, "Charlie's fine, by the way."

I turned around and smirked at Charlie, "Sorry, what?" I teased. When I turned back around, Jack had gone into the cockpit.

I heard him saying, "You don't have to come up here," in a sort of protective way to Kate.

"No, I'm good," she insisted.

Jack pulled her up and I heard her ask, "So what does a transceiver look like?"

"Like a complicated walkie talkie," Jack explained.

Then, I heard something really weird, "Hey - Can you hear me? I need the water - "

"What - Wh - "

"What's going on?" I called to them.

"The pilot - He's alive," Kate called back to me.

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. He'd been sitting out here alive the entire time we had been here. No food, no water, and in a substantial amount of pain, I'd imagine.

"Head hurts - dizzy..."

"Probably a concussion," I heard Jack say.

"How long has it been?" I heard the weak voice of the pilot.

"Sixteen hours," Jack responded.

"Sixteen..." He trailed off, and then his voice became fearful, "Has anyone come?"

"Not yet," Jack answered.

"Six hours in... our radio went out... redundant system... the transponder wasn't functioning. No one could see us... so we turned back. To land in Fiji. When we hit that turbulence... we were over a thousand miles off course - They'll be looking in the wrong place... We have a transceiver..."

"Good, that's what we were hoping," Jack said.

I decided they'd be just fine if I weren't there, so I got out of the plane. I noticed that Charlie had vanished, but that really wasn't my main concern at the moment. I started walking away, getting even more drenched by the pouring rain. I helplessly started screaming my cousin's name, hoping that she was alive, and that she would be able to hear me. The rational part of me knew I was wasting my time. Somewhere deep inside, I knew she couldn't hear me. But I had to try anyway, didn't I?

And then I heard the same sound we had all heard on the beach the previous night. "MROOOOWRRRR!" It sounded a lot closer than it did the last time it had appeared. I noticed I was holding my breath, and then I heard yelling. I ran as fast as my legs would permit to get back to the plane. I scrambled back inside and screamed, "Is everyone okay?"

"Ashley?" I heard Jack yell, "Where were - "

My eyes widened in fear as I saw the pilot's body being yanked up. His legs hit the dash, making it difficult for whatever had hold of him to pull him out. His upper half was outside of the plane and his lower half was stuck inside. He dropped the transceiver onto the foor as he continued to scream bloody murder. I pushed Kate to the side and grabbed hold of the pilot's bottom half. I tugged as hard as I could, but I was no match for whatever it was I was up against.

Charlie stood up and began to scream, "What the hell's happ - "

But he was cut off by the pilot's body getting pulled once again. I was grabbing the pilot, and Jack was grabbing me. Kate was screaming at the top of her lungs, and finally, whatever was out there succeeded in his quest, and the pilot was gone. The four of us fell to the ground, and tried to get back up immediately to get the hell out of there.

"Jack! C'mon!" I heard Kate scream. I looked back to see what was going on. Jack was trying to get the transceiver.

"Leave it!" Charlie yelled.

"No," said Jack. He went after it, but lost his balance and fell right on his stomach. It was just out of his reach, but he continued to try. Finally, he managed to get it and slowly staggered to his feet.

The cockpit began to move and I realized a tree had slammed up against it. We all exchanged looks as we heard a terrible cry from what I could only assume was the thing that took the pilot. The three of us ran like hell to get the hell out of there. We actually made it, and ran as fast as our legs would carry us into the rainstorm. It was so loud that I couldn't even be sure if we were running towards it or away from it.

I heard a loud thud from behind me and I spun around quickly. Charlie had clearly had the wind knocked out of him. He attempted to stand up, but he couldn't. Jack went over to help and screamed, "C'mon!" We realized at the same moment that Charlie had been trapped, and at the worst possible moment. I could hear Kate's sobs, but I was too shocked to feel anything. All I knew was that we had to get out of there, and fast.

"Where the hell's Jack!" I heard Kate cry.

"I don't know!" Charlie exclaimed.

"Did you see him?" she demanded.

"Yes! He helped me up - "

"So where is he?" she continued.

"I don't know where he - "

"HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW?" Kate burst out.

"WE GOT SEPARATED!" Charlie shouted back, "Wait, where's Ashley?"

"Over here!" I yelled, walking towards the sound of their voices, "Nice of someone to show a little concern!" I added pointedly.

"Now you know how I feel!" Charlie responded as I found them. Then, he turned back to Kate, "He pulled me up. If he hadn't, that th - "

"Did you see it?" Kate wanted to know.

"No. No. But it was right behind us. We were dead - I was. Until Jack came back for me."

Just then, the rain stopped. I began to walk back the way we had come, and Kate said to Charlie, "We have to go back for him."

"Go back?" said Charlie, "There? Love - Listen - There's a certain... gargantuan quality to whatever the hell that thing is - "

Their voices began to fade away as I got further away from the two of them. Soon enough, they were right behind me, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kate kneeling onto the ground. I heard Charlie say, "What the hell's that...?"

"It's the pilot," said the voice of Jack and we all spun around to see him waltzing out of the jungle.

"Did you see it?" Kate questioned.

"No, it was right behind me. I dove into the bushes," he told her.

I followed Charlie's eyes as he said, "Excuse me, people, but how the hell does something like that happen?"

There, stuck up high in a branch, was the pilot, his body all torn up, and dead, without a shadow of a doubt. Once we had gotten over the initial shock, we began to walk back, Jack fooling around with the transceiver all the while. We were too shaken to speak to one another. We just trailed back the way we had come in a terrified silence.

**How was it? Let me know! I'll try to have the next chapter up sometime tomorrow night. **


	2. Pilot Part 2

**Okay, I'm trying to decide whether or not it would be a waste to write another story when I'm done with this one (god only knows when that's going to be) about what would've happened had Boone not died. I'm thinking of just using the first twenty chapters from this story and then veering off into something new after that. Kind of like an alternate ending kind of thing, but I'm not sure if that's something I want to do. Oh well, I'll figure it out eventually. I should probably worry about the story at hand before even considering that. In the mean time, enjoy the second chapter and please review!**

Pilot Part 2

"Anything?" Charlie asked hopefully.

"You keep asking me if there's anything," Jack noted.

"Pardon me for appearing desperate, but in case you didn't hear the pilot before he was _eaten_, they're never going to find us unless we get that thing to work. So is there anything?"

"No," Jack said.

"What were you doing? In the bathroom?" Kate questioned Charlie.

"Oh, I thought you could tell. I was getting sick. Puking. My one tangible contribution to this trek," he replied.

"No, I'm glad you came," she said kindly.

"Yeah, every trek needs a coward," he commented.

"You're not a coward," Kate assured him.

As we made our way back to the beach, yells could be heard. I ran toward it, leaving Kate, Charlie, and Jack behind. "You've gotta be kidding me," I muttered to myself, as I witnessed the guy I had saved and the Indian guy engaging in a full-on brawl.

Jack was right on my heels, and he screamed at me, "Get away from here!"

"I'm a big girl, Jack!" I called back, stepping right in the middle of it. The man stopped, neither one willing to strike a girl. I had really counted on that. I was facing the guy I had helped whose name I didn't bother asking for.

"What are you doing!" he demanded.

"What am _I_ doing?" I asked incredulously, "You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me."

"All right, ENOUGH!" Jack shouted, following my lead.

"I've had enough of this guy!"

"You've had enough of me!"

"You acuse me of being a criminal!"

"If the shoe fits."

"What next? I suppose you think I am responsible for the crash!"

"They all know it's you! I'm just the one SAYING it!"

"Hey! What the hell?"

I noticed that the black guy was holding up a pair of hand cuffs, "My kid found these out in the jungle," he explained.

"And this guy was in the back row of business class the whole flight. Never got up. Hands folded under his blanket. And for some crazy reason - I'm just pointing this out - the guy I saw next to him didn't make it. Do the math - You're the prisoner, muchacho."

"Hey, what's your name?" I called to the blonde guy.

He looked over at me, puzzled, "Don't you think it's sort of a bad time for intros?"

"Just tell me your goddamn name," I barked.

"Well, since you asked nicely," he said sarcastically, "Sawyer."

"Sawyer?" I said sweetly.

"Yes?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Shut the fuck up, please," I growled.

The Indian guy went on as if this exchange hadn't just occurred, "Thank you so much for observing my behavior so very carefully - "

"You think I didn't see them pull you out of line before we boarded?"

"If you do not take your finger out of my face - "

"Oh please - bring it - "

They looked ready to continue their fight, when, at the same moment, Kate screamed, "Stop!" and I darted in between the two of them.

"I can stand here until we either get rescued or die here," I told them, looking from one to the other, "You can't be serious. How can you find shit to fight about in this situation? Can you do nothing but create more problems for us? We have enough problems as it is, don't you think?"

They both fell silent and looked back and forth between Kate and myself. "The chicks have balls," Sawyer muttered.

"We actually do have bigger problems than this," Kate said, ignoring him just as I had planned to do, "We found the transceiver, but it's not working. Can anybody help...?"

The Indian guy stepped forward and locked eyes with Sawyer as he said, "Yes, I might be able to."

"Oh yeah, good! This guy! Perfect! Let's trust him - "

"Hey, we're all in this together, man. Let's try to treat each other with - "

"Shut up, lardo," Sawyer snarled.

"Leave him alone," I snapped, meeting Sawyer's eyes with my own. He seemed slightly taken aback by the expression on my face. At the same moment, Jack said, "Hey - Give it a break."

"Whatever you say, Doc. You're the hero," he said scathingly as he began to walk away from the rest of the group.

"What's your name?" I asked the Indian man, still staring at Sawyer.

"I am Sayid," he said, extending his hand.

"Ashley," I said politely, grasping his hand and shaking it. I bit my lip and started to walk away as I heard Boone asking if they were any survivors.

"Where do you think you're going?" I heard a voice from behind me. I spun around to see Jack, "Don't bother," he told me. Clearly, he knew where I was headed.

"Look, Jack, it's not that I'm not appreciative that you're looking out for me. Really, I am. But I'm not the kind of girl who's going to do what you say just because you're a few years older than I am. I'm not a little girl and I make my own choices. I get that you've got the qualities of a leader, and I'm cool with that, but I don't have to answer to anyone. Sawyer shouldn't get away with attacking Sayid or putting every other person down. Besides, it's not like he's going to hurt me. He can be as macho as he wants in front of everyone else, but how would it look if he started with a girl who's not only less than five feet tall, but also much younger than him? I can take care of myself, Jack. But thanks," And with that, I trudged over to where Sawyer had disappeared to.

"Have you come to spank me with a belt, mom?" he asked.

"What's your deal?" I asked, sitting in the sand beside him.

"My deal is I'm stranded on this fuckin island with a goddamned terrorist," he said angrily.

"So, because Sayid is arab, he's automatically a terrorist?" I asked.

"Yup," he responded flatly.

"Nobody's this big of a douche," I commented, "You may have everyone else fooled, but not me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"It means you're acting like a dick on purpose," I informed him, "It's much easier to have people hate you, isn't it? God forbid they see a real person in there."

"You think you have it all figured out, don't you?" he asked coldly, "You don't know shit."

"Maybe not," I reasoned, "But I do feel like I should give you a reality check. We may be here for a while, Sawyer. Do you really want to spend all that time alone? Because that's the path you're headed down. Besides, sooner or later you're going to need something. Do you really want to burn all of your bridges?"

"Thanks for the pep talk, coach," he said, dropping the serious act.

I snatched the cigarette out of his mouth, took a pull, and handed it back to him. "Fuck you," I said through narrowed eyes.

I turned around and began to walk towards the others when I heard, "Hey!" from behind me.

I slowly turned back around and crossed my arms, "What?"

"I don't believe you've introduced yourself," he remarked.

I shrugged my shoulders, "So?"

"It's common courtesy," he told me.

"Pfft. You're talking to _me_ about courtesy? That's interesting," I said amusedly. I shook my head and turned back towards the rest of the group. By the time I had returned, everyone had gone back to doing their own thing. I spotted Jack and he began to walk towards me.

"Are you okay?" he asked me concernedly.

It took me a second to figure out what he was talking about. Then, I remembered that we stumbled upon half a dozen dead bodies, watched an invisible monster kill a man, and then had to escape from said invisible monster ourselves. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said, actually meaning it, "It takes a lot more than that to scare me."

"Really? I find that hard to believe because Charlie's still shaking," he joked, "Hell, I'm pretty shook up and I have about fifteen inches and over a decade on you."

"Age and size have nothing to do with it, Jack," I stated, "It's all about the mind."

"So, this experience hasn't effected you at all?" he wondered.

"I'm not saying that," I said immediately, "It's not like I don't have a soul. I'm aware of the situation I'm in, but what am I going to do? Sit around and cry?" I looked over at the girl Boone was with pointedly, "I could die on this island right here, right now, and never make it back to my family. Sophia's body could wash up on the shore for all I know. Anything could happen, but I'm not going to waste the time I have feeling sorry for myself. You're dealt the hand you're dealt."

"That's a pretty impressive outlook you've got there. Wise for someone your age," he remarked.

I rolled my eyes, "If you make one more reference to my age, you may not make it off this island, buddy."

He smirked, "Is that a threat?"

"Absolutely," I replied.

"Hey, how's the impaled guy?" I asked conversationally.

"I just came back from checking on him," he answered, "I should get back, actually. I just came back for a bottle of water. I'll see you around later."

"Do you need any help?" I asked him.

"Not at the moment," he said gratefully, "But just in case I do, how are you around blood?"

"Well, when I was a kid, I stapled my thumb and threw up. Then I fainted. But I'm much better now," I replied, "I got over my blood phobia around thirteen. Now, I handle it better than most people I know."

"Well, that's semi-comforting," he said with a grin, "You could come along to keep me company if you want."

I smiled back at him, "Sure."

He led the way back to where the man had been for the past day. I couldn't help but stare at the large piece of metal sticking out of him. I couldn't remember ever feeling as sympathetic as I did right then and there. Though, I had become quite skilled in not letting my emotions show on my face.

"I'm guessing yellow skin doesn't mean he's getting any better," I said solemnly.

He shook his head, "Good guess."

At the same moment, we both heard a noise and peered up to see Kate joining us. "How is he?" she asked. Jack just shook his head in response.

"Can you do anything?" she questioned, her face looking nothing short of horrified as she stared at the man.

"I can pull out the shrapnel," he answered.

"But yesterday you said - "

I tuned out then and there. I started to think about all the things I had been pushing to the back of my mind since we landed on this island. I thought about why nobody had come to rescue us. I thought about all of the people who had lost their lives. I thought of Rose, who had lost her husband, just like I had lost my cousin. I wondered how long we would be stranded here. I considered the possibility of us running out of food - then what?

"Ashley?" Kate's voice saying my name brought me back to reality.

"Huh?" I said, forcing myself out of my head.

"I asked if you want to come," she said, looking at me with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Come where? Sorry, I kind of zoned out for a minute there," I apologized.

"I'm going on a hike," she told me.

"Yeah su - "

"Wait a second," Jack interrupted, "You're going too now?"

"You know, I'm starting to get the impression that you're a tiny bit sexist, Jack," I said acusingly.

"That's true. You wouldn't be thinking twice if it were any of the guys," Kate added.

"I'm just looking out for you guys," Jack said defensively.

"And we're grateful that you care," I told him, "But we can handle a little hike."

"It's not the hike I'm worried about. We can't keep pretending like that thing isn't out there," Jack replied, but saw that his argument wasn't going to stop me, "So much for keeping me company," he added, pretending to look disappointed.

"Huh. I sort of completely forgot about that. I'm sorry," I said, putting my hand on his arm, "You don't want Kate going alone though, do you?"

Jack sighed defeatedly, "If you hear anything. Anything... Run."

"You know I will," Kate said.

"Not me," I said in a serious tone, "If I come across the monster, I think I might try reasoning with it. Maybe it's just lonely." They both chuckled.

"Good luck," Jack said to us.

"You too," Kate and I chorused.

We made our way back to everyone else. Kate told me she was going to fill up some bottles of water for the journey. Sayid approached us and I could tell instantly there was something he wanted to say.

"The others. They've heard about the thing you saw. The pilot. I understand why you and the doctor decided not to frighten us, but your English friend is telling anyone who will listen. They think we are insane for going back in there," he told us grimly.

"At the moment, this is our only chance of getting rescued," I reminded him.

"If he told you about the pilot, he told you what the pilot said. The rescue people - they're looking for us in the wrong place. They're not gonna find us."

I excused myself and walked several feet away. I decided to let them continue the conversation without me. I had too much on my mind to get involved. I must've spaced out for a while, because when I rejoined the group, Boone, Charlie, and the tall girl were also there. The mood had grown even more tense then when I had left.

"What's going on?" I asked, and everyone turned around to look at me, "Are we going?"

Everybody nodded stiffly in response and suddenly I was thankful that I had made the decision to leave the group. As we made our way off the beach, I found myself walking beside the tall girl, with Kate in the front, and the guys in the back.

"I don't think we've met," I said to her, "I'm Ashley."

"Shannon," she said, not meeting my eyes. I was pretty surprised that she was in our group, seeing as I couldn't remember her doing anything other than tanning and painting her nails since we crashed. I found that for a girl with long legs, Shannon moved pretty slowly. I passed her, and a moment later, I was leading the group.

Suddenly I heard Kate say, "Decided to join us?"

I spun around, curious as to who had shown up. And then I felt my face fall.

"Yeah, looks like it," Sawyer responded.

"What changed your mind?" she wondered.

"I'm a complex guy, sweetheart," he said in the kind of way that made me want to smack him.

After twenty minutes or so, I found myself beside Charlie. "Nice day for a hike, eh?" he said, clearly trying to make conversation.

"Rumor has it that the pilot was killed by some kind of monster," I said subtley, "I wonder who would say something like that."

He grinned sheepishly, "D'you think it's any better to leave people clueless?"

"You have a point," I conceded. I heard Sawyer begin to argue with Sayid, and a part of me wanted to jump in, but a larger part of me just wanted to avoid dealing with the bullshit. But then, everyone fell silent as a distant rumbling was heard from somewhere within the jungle.

"The hell's that?" said Boone.

"Oh, god," Shannon said in a panic.

"Something's coming," Kate warned us.

"Coming towards us, I think...?" Charlie added.

Kate grabbed Charlie and began to run. Shannon screamed something along the lines of, "I shouldn't have come!", and Boone grabbed her and ran. She started running on her own and then he turned back.

"What are you doing!" he yelled.

"Sawyer! Come on!" Kate yelled.

"Let him go!" I heard Sayid shout.

"No, Sawyer!" Kate continued to holler.

"Sawyer, let's get the fuck out of here," I pleaded, but he remained silent and still. I knew I should've ran, but I couldn't just leave someone behind, no matter how arrogant and unpleasant he may be.

And then he did something that shocked me. He pulled out a gun and began firing into the jungle. He kept squeezing the trigger and we could all hear one loud bam after the other. Finally, an animal fell from the direction the noises were coming from and we all gaped in shock as we got a look at the thing that had been pursuing us. It was a bear. An enormous, white bear. I looked around at everybody's face. Theirs probably looked a lot like mine. Total and complete surprise. I stepped forward to get a look at the bear, and then a thought crossed my mind. It was ridiculous and insane, but the proof was staring me right in the face...

"That's... That's a big bear," Shannon commented shakily.

"You think... that's what killed the pilot?" Boone questioned.

I saw Kate look at Charlie and I could see that she was annoyed at Charlie for blabbing, "That? No. No, that's maybe a tiny preemie baby version - this is nothing compared to that - "

"I think everyone's failing to see the real kicker here," I said, looking at everyone as they looked at the dying bear.

"Guys? This isn't just a bear... It's a polar bear," Kate said, staring at it incredulously.

I nodded slowly, "Bingo."

"That can't...be a polar be - ", but Boone was cut off.

"It's a polar bear," Kate said.

"It's a polar bear," Sawyer concured.

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I never... finished college. But... polar bears don't... normally live in the jungle, right - ?" Shannon said, and it took everything in me to not roll my eyes at the comment.

"Yeah, spot-on. No, they don't. This is a freakshow," Charlie said, amazed.

Kate looked over at Sayid, "Have you ever heard of anything like this?"

"No, this is, uh... polar bears don't live this far south - "

"...This one does," Boone pointed out. Nobody could argue with that.

"Did. Did. You're welcome for that," Sawyer said obnoxiously.

"Where did that come from?" Kate questioned.

"Probably Bear Village. How the hell do I know?" he answered sarcastically.

"Not the bear, the gun," said Kate.

"I got it off one of the bodies," he responded.

"One of the bodies," Sayid stepped in.

"Yeah, one of the bodies," Sawyer said agitatedly.

"People don't carry guys on planes!" Shannon jumped in.

"Exactly," I said, stepping into the middle, "Which is exactly how we know it isn't his."

"They do if they're a U.S. Marshal! There was one on the plane - "

"How do you know that?" Kate demanded.

"Cause I saw a guy lying there with an ankle holster - so I took the gun, thought it might come in handy. Guess what? I just shot a bear!"

"Why do you think he was a Marshal?" Kate continued.

"Because he had a clip-on badge!" He shouted, visibly angry, "Took that too! Thought it was cool! Listen, sweetheart, you should be kissing my ass after what I just did for you."

"Enough," I snarled at him, "Don't act like you did that for anyone but yourself."

"I know who you are," Sayid said, "You're the prisoner."

"...I'm the what?" asked Sawyer.

"You found a gun on a U.S. Marshal? Yes, I believe you did. You knew it was there because you were the one he was bringing back to the States. Those handcuffs were on you. That's how you knew there was a gun."

All eyes were now on Sawyer. I looked down at the ground, knowing full well that Sawyer wasn't the prisoner. Kate and I exchanged a look, and she seemed nervous that I would open my mouth, but I just looked away and held my tongue. As much of a dick as Sawyer was, it bothered me that he was getting blamed for something he didn't do, and that people were now judging him for it, but I wasn't about to out Kate, either. So, I stayed quiet and pretended to know nothing.

"Hey, guess what, screw you!" Sawyer boomed.

"That's who you are, you son-of-a-bitch!" Sayid shot back.

As this was going on, I caught Kate's eye, and we both looked at the gun hanging out of Sawyer's pocket. I nodded my head and she nodded back. It was sort of a telepathic conversation. We had the same idea at the exact same moment, but she was much closer and had the better chance.

She reached over and grabbed the gun right out of Sawyer's pants. "Hey!" he said as he shifted his body towards her. She then pointed it at him, but I could tell it was only because she knew it was the only way she knew he wouldn't try to snatch it back.

"Who knows how to use a gun?" she asked everyone.

"I think you just pull the trigger," Charlie piped up, "But Kate, we just escaped death, let's not push our luck - "

"I want to take it apart," she clarified.

"Oh," Charlie said, falling silent.

"There's a button on the grip," Sayid guided her, "Push that, it will eject the magazine." Kate followed his directions and it popped right out, "But there's still a round in the chamber - hold the grip, pull back on the top part of the gun." The bullet popped out and she handed the clip to Sayid. Then, she gave the gun itself to Sawyer and he took it.

"I know your type," he said.

"I'm not so sure," Kate replied.

"Yeah, I've been with girls like you," he told her.

"Not girls exactly like me."

"We should keep moving," Sayid said to us.

The group began to fan out a bit. Kate and Sayid were a few steps before me, I was more or less in step with Boone, Shannon and Charlie were behind us, and Sawyer was bringing up the rear.

"Do you think this is gonna work?" Boone asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders, "It's one of those expect the worst, hope for the best types of situations."

"Yeah. So, what do you do, you know, in real life?" he asked me.

I smiled at his phrasing, "Well, I graduated from Queens College, back in New York a year and a half ago. I've done a lot of stuff in between then and now. I've written articles in some newspapers, I've had a few short stories and poems published in magazines. I guess I'm primarily a writer, but when I get free time I do theater. I've been bartending for the past year to raise extra money. I was hoping to fund a play of my own, I've been working on a script."

"Impressive," he commented approvingly.

"Thanks. What about you?" I asked.

"I'm a COO at a wedding business," he answered.

"Well, that was unexpected," I said, surprised, "Wait, didn't you say something about being a lifeguard when we crashed?"

"I used to be. I kind of fell into the whole wedding thing to be honest," he admitted, "It's my mom's business."

"Oh, see, now it makes sense. I wish my mom had a business to leave me. It would make getting this play together a hell of a lot easier," I joked.

He smiled, "Tell you what, when we get off this island, I'll invest in your play. All you have to do is advertise my company on the playbill. Deal?" He stuck out his right hand.

I grinned and shook it, "Deal."

"How's that guy doing? The one with the metal - y'know - inside of him?" he asked awkwardly.

I shook my head solemnly, "Not well. Jack's doing everything he can for him, that's why he couldn't come, but I don't think he's going to make it. His skin's all yellow and he just looks moments from death. I hate to think that he's suffering..."

Boone nodded understandingly, "Yeah, I know. To be honest, I'm surprised he's still hanging in there."

"So, how are you and Shannon related anyway?" I asked curiously.

"She's - my sister," he said, and I saw something unreadable flicker across his face.

"You wanna try that again?" I asked hestitantly.

"Step-sister, actually," he corrected, "Our parents got married when I was ten."

I nodded slowly, "Do you two not get along?"

"Not anymore," he huffed.

"I'm sorry," I said, not sure where to go from there, "If you ever need to talk about it, I'm around... And obviously not going anywhere. I mean, unless the invisible monster kills me or I get eaten by a polar bear or something."

He laughed, "Thanks. You know, I can't tell if you just have a miraculous ability to keep yourself composed, or if this really isn't effecting you."

I bit my lip, considering, "I like to think of it as highly adaptable."

"That's a nice way of looking at it," he agreed, "How's your back doing?"

"It's healing pretty quickly, considering," I answered, "It wasn't that deep."

"When I was cleaning your cuts yesterday I realized I remembered you from the airport," he told me, "That brunette girl, that was your cousin, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah, that was Sophia."

"I'm really sorry," he said earnestly, "I don't know how you stay so in control. Almost everyone's broken down at one point or another."

I shrugged, "What choice do I have? Besides, I haven't given up hope that she's out there somewhere. For all we know the tail section landed on some other part of the island."

"I hope that's true," he said seriously, "I really do."

Just then, I heard, "Bar - bar - there's a bar - HEY! WE GOT A BAR!"

We all stopped walking and looked at Sayid, who was now playing around with the controls. He pushed a button and said, "Mayday, Mayday!"

And then a loud noise sounded from the device. "What's that?" Kate asked.

"Feedback," Sayid responded.

"Feedback from what?" Kate questioned.

"I don't know," he murmured.

"What would do that?" she continued.

"I'll tell you what would do that," Sawyer jumped in, "This guy not fixing the radio. The thing doesn't work."

The noise occurred once again. "No, no it's not broken. We can't transmit because something's already transmitting."

"Transmitting from where?" Charlie asked.

"Somewhere close - the signal's strong," Sayid responded.

"Close? You mean here on the island close? That's fantastic!" Charlie said enthusiastically.

"Maybe it's other survivors," Boone suggested.

"From our plane? How?" Shannon inquired.

"So what kind of 'transmission' _is_ it?" Sawyer asked.

"Could be a Satphone," said Sayid, "Maybe a radio signal..."

"Can we listen to it?" Kate wondered.

"I don't know what frequency the signal is - hold on..." Sayid replied.

"There's no transmission," Sawyer said scathingly.

"Sawyer, shut up," Kate growled.

"It's the rescue crew - it must be," Charlie said.

And then, we all exchanged looks as we heard the voice of what appeared to be a desperate woman.

"That's French. The French are coming! I've never been so happy for the French!" Charlie boomed excitedly.

"I never took French," Kate said, frustrated, "What's she saying?"

"My knowledge of French is extremely basic. It doesn't go much beyond J'mapelle Ashley and the basics," I added.

"Does anyone speak French?" Sayid asked, looking around at the rest of them.

Then, Boone pointed to Shannon, "She does."

"What! No, I don't..." Shannon countered.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU SPENT A YEAR IN PARIS!" Boone exploded.

"Drinking! Not studying!" she shot back.

Then, a male voice stepped in on the radio, "Iteration one seven two nine four five three one."

"Right then," Charlie said, obviously confused, "What was that?"

The French woman had begun to speak again, but this time her voice seemed far away, almost.

"Nonono," Sayid said, desperately.

"Nonono, what?" Kate asked.

"The batteries - they're dying," he responded.

Shannon tried to focus on what was being spoken, trying to understand what the French woman was saying.

"How much time do we - " Kate began, but Sayid cut her off.

"Not much."

"You're telling me no one here speaks French!" Sawyer asked, annoyed.

"Iteration one seven two nine four five three two."

"It's - It's repeating," Shannon croaked.

"Yes, she's right - It's a loop. 'Iteration.' It's repeating the same message."

I nodded, understanding, "The numbers! One seven two nine four five three two, one seven two nine four five three two."

"It's a counter - and the next number will end five three three."

Everybody fell silent and payed attention to the transceiver.

"Iteration one seven two nine four five three three." Sayid looked up at the rest of us, clearly triumphant.

"Does anyone other than Saddam, Twiggy, and Thumbelina know what the hell is going on?" Sawyer demanded.

Shannon, Sayid, and I exchanged a look at the names he had bestowed upon us. "It's a running count," Sayid explained, "Of the number of times the message has repeated. It's roughly thirty seconds long, so..." He began to concentrate on calculations.

"Don't forget to carry the one, chief," Sawyer said.

"Guys - the battery," Charlie warned.

"Give him a minute," Kate ordered.

"C'mon Shan, what's she saying?" Boone urged.

"I don't know," Shannon said, showing signs of stress, "I think she's saying please. She's saying please help me. Please come get me."

"Or she's not!" Sawyer said, completely losing his cool, "You don't speak French!"

"Let her listen," said Kate.

Something on Shannon's face appeared to change. She seemed terrified by whatever it was she had heard.

"What? What is it?" Charlie asked urgently.

"Please, help...I'm alone now...on the island alone. Someone please come... the others, they're dead. It killed them. It killed them all."

Everybody feel silent at Shannon's words. And at that very moment, the battery died. I looked away from her, at Sayid, who had just finished crunching the numbers. "Sixteen years."

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"Sixteen years, five months, and nine days. That's the count."

"The count?" Charlie repeated, "What - ?"

"You wanna give us a minute here, man? Cause this is - " Boone began, but Sayid interrupted him.

"The message. The iterations. It's a distress call. A mayday. A plea for help. And if the counter's right, it's been playing... over and over for sixteen years."

"Someone else was stranded here?" Boone asked, as it all sunk in.

"Maybe someone came for them..." Kate said optimistically.

"If someone came, why's it still playing?" Sawyer retorted.

Everybody fell silent, thinking about the magnitude of the information they had just learned. That woman may very well have died right here on this island. She had probably deluded herself into believing she would be rescued, just like us. If nobody had come for her, why would anybody come for us?

"Guys - where are we?" Charlie asked.


	3. Tabula Rasa

**All right, here's chapter three. I'd say let me know what you think, but I haven't had a review so far, so I won't bother. Enjoy. **

Tabula Rasa

After a moment or so, we began walking back to the beach, completely deflated. Everybody was equally disappointed as they were worried. Nobody spoke for the first half hour or so. I was in the middle of the group, between Boone and Sawyer.

"I thought we were the lucky ones for making it. Now I'm not so sure," I muttered.

"You think she's still here somewhere?" Boone asked, voicing the very thing I had been thinking.

I shook my head slowly, "I don't even want to think about it. Could you imagine spending sixteen years stuck on this island? Worst than death, if you ask me."

"I just don't get it," Boone said seriously, "How could nobody come for her?"

"I don't know, but if they never came for her, we're pretty much fucked," I mumbled.

_I took a deep breath. I had gone the first twenty-two years of my life without ever boarding a plane. The first one I had ever been on was the one that brought me to Australia, and now I was going back. Sophia had flown tons of times, so it was second nature to her. I hadn't been so weirded out on the plane to Australia, but I guess that's just because I was so excited to get back home. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn't shake._

_ I looked over at Sophia. She seemed calm, totally relaxed. It reassured me in a way. "You're fidgeting," she told me._

_ "I'm new to this whole flying thing," I said defensively, "I'm sorry I haven't been on a plane three dozen times."_

_ Sophia smirked, "Just try to fall asleep."_

_ "And then be awake when everyone else is asleep? No, thank you. I just want to get home already," I complained._

_ "To get back to Bryan?" she asked suggestively._

_ "I guess I should've mentioned earlier," I said uncomfortably, "We're not together anymore."_

_ "You guess you should've mentioned?" she asked in disbelief, "When would you have had the chance? We only spent the last week with each other on a different continent, no less. Obviously, there was just never a good time."_

_ "I didn't want to ruin the trip by blabbing about my guy troubles," I shrugged, "Sorry."_

_ "Yeah, because we had such a fantastic time. You act like this was a vacation," she said sourly._

_ "For most people, it would've been," I stated._

_ "Well, in a screwed up way, you got what you wanted, didn't you?" she asked uneasily._

_ I nodded reluctantly, "Yeah, I guess I did."_

_ I felt myself begin to nod off. I didn't know how long I was out, but I started to wake up when the turbulence hit. I turned to look at Sophia, but she wasn't there. _

_ "I think she went to the bathroom," the girl I came to know as Claire informed me._

_ "Oh, thanks," I said, biting my lower lip nervously. Claire looked worried as well, but she tried to cover it up._

_ "I'm sure it'll stop in a mom - " But just then, the plane began to drop at an unbelievably accelerated speed. I was definitely not alone in my panic. People began screaming at the top of their lungs. Oxygen masks began to descend, and people were scrambling to get them on, and to help others. And then I heard a loud, breaking sound, and I turned my head on instinct. The back of the plane had come apart and people were flying out and falling, falling, falling..._

_ I looked over at Claire, whose eyes were wide with fear. She had to be doubly scared. Once for herself, and once for the child growing inside of her. I spent our last moments in the air hoping that Sophia was alive, and then the plane made contact with the ground._

"Hey? Are you all right?" Boone's voice brought me back into the present.

"Uh - Yeah, fine," I said brightly.

"You're awfully cheerful for someone who just said we're all doomed," Boone pointed out.

"Fucked," I said softly, "I believe the word I used was fucked."

"What were you thinking about?" he asked, looking genuinely interested.

I bowed my head and stared at my feet as they moved back and forth, "My cousin."

"I have a feeling she'll turn up," he said thoughtfully.

"Yeah? What makes you say that?" I asked.

"Intuition," he said simply, "So, what, were you two on vacation or something?"

"Something like that," I said mysteriously, "What about you?"

"You expect me to give you a straight answer after that?" he asked, amused, "I don't think so."

"I was meeting my family there," I said hesitantly.

"Like a family reunion?" he guessed.

"That implies we were ever a union," I said, keeping all emotion out of my voice.

"Sorry to hear that," he said honestly, "Unpleasant trip?"

"Biggest mistake of my life," I muttered, "As a matter of fact, crashing here was probably the best thing that happened since I left for Australia."

"You gonna elaborate?" he wondered.

I squinted my eyes at him and shook my head, "Not now, anyway."

"I was trying to get my sister out of a bad relationship," he confessed, but something told me I wasn't getting the whole story. The same way he hadn't had the full story.

"I always wished I had a big brother," I admitted, "I never wanted a sister. To me, that was just somebody to compete with. But a big brother? Shit, a big cousin, even. Nobody's ever been overprotective of me the way my friend's brothers were with them. It must be nice, you know? Knowing someone has your back, no matter what. I never had that. Not with a brother, or with a father. That's why I don't depend on anybody but myself. I never had anyone to depend on, so it's just the way I'm wired. It was always just me and my mom, and she worked all the time since she was a single parent. We barely got by as it was, and I never held it against her. But when I was real young, I used to pretend like I had a normal family. All my friends would complain about having to eat at the table with their families, or having to go to church on Sundays, and I wished that I had parents who made me do those things... Til I got older, anyway."

"Everyone wants what they can't have," he stated.

"You don't have to tell me," I said under my breath.

"There's something about you I just can't place," he remarked, and as soon as he said it, I could tell he had been thinking about it a lot, "Almost like I knew you back in the real world, but just can't figure out where it was from..."

I grinned, "Were you flying home?"

"Yeah," he responded.

I shook my head back and forth, "I've never been to Los Angeles. I lived in New York my whole life."

"I just can't shake the feeling that I've talked to you before," he said quietly, "But I've probably just been in the sun too long."

"Maybe it'll hit you one of these days," I suggested.

"Yeah," he said distractedly, "Maybe."

"How incredibly touching," Sawyer snarled from behind us.

"Screw you," I said hatefully, without bothering to turn around.

We continued on, ocassionally making conversation with one another, but mostly, silently digesting the information we had just received. "It's getting dark," Boone noted.

"Then pick up the pace," Sawyer interjected.

"Hick," Boone snarled.

"Little louder?" Sawyer said, trying to provoke him.

"We should make camp," Sayid piped up.

"What, here?" Shannon said in disbelief.

"Yes, here," Sayid responded.

"I'm not stopping. You all have a nice cookout," Sawyer said.

"All the more reason to stop," I smirked.

"Excellent, walk through the jungle in the dark," Sayid commented.

"Ooh, afraid the trees are gonna get us?" Sawyer replied mockingly.

"No, what is knocking down the trees will get you," Sayid warned.

Sawyer reached for the gun and held it up, "Well, if you're so worried about me, how about you give me the clip back?"

"Put the gun back in your pants, Sawyer. Sayid's right, if you keep walking, you're not going to make it to the beach," Kate added.

"Yeah?" Sawyer said, growing serious, "Why's that?"

"Trust me," Kate said simply.

We began to make camp, and the guys started a fire. Shannon looked tremendously uncomfortable with the present situation. Boone kept sideways glancing at her to get a look at her expressions. Once we were settled in, Sayid put a rock on the ground and grabbed a torch.

"This is Australia," Sayid began, indicating the rock, "This is us," he said, meaning the torch.

"Nice stick," Sawyer said, and everyone ignored him.

"Two days ago, we take off from Sydney," he said, giving us the facts, "We fly along the same north east route every commercial airliner bound for Los Angeles does. Now the pilot, he said he lost communication with the ground, correct?"

"Yeah, six hours in," Kate agreed, "He turned around and headed for Fiji."

"So, we changed course," Sayid carried on, "Regrettably, no one knew we changed course. The turbulence hit. We know the rest." With that, Sayid put out the torch.

"The pilot said we were over a thousand miles off course," Kate added.

"Yeah, but they'll find us," Charlie said confidently, "They have satellites in space that can take pictures of your licence plate."

"If only we were all wearing licence plates," Sayid said.

"Well, aren't you the the pessimist," Charlie remarked.

"Basic photography - point and shoot. Satellites can shoot, but they must be told where to point," explained Sayid.

"Oh. Bollocks," Charlie said, his face falling.

"Okay," Sawyer began, and already, I could feel my eyes begin to roll, "Really enjoyed the puppet show. Fantastic. But we're stuck in the middle of damn nowhere. How about we talk about that other thing? You know that transmission Abdul picked up on his little radio? The French chick that said, 'They're all dead.' The transmission's been on a loop for... how long was it, Freckles?"

"Sixteen years," Kate replied.

"Right. Let's talk about that," Sawyer said.

"Well, we have to tell the others when we get back," Boone chimed in.

"Tell them what, exactly?" Shannon asked.

"What we heard," he responded.

"No one's going to tell them anything," Sayid said, taking control, "To relay what we heard without fully understanding it will cause a panic. If we tell them what we know we take away their hope. And hope is a very dangerous thing to lose."

"So we lie," Kate said, clearly not all right with it, but she knew it was what had to be done.

Soon after, everyone began to lay down. I could hear the slow, steady breathing of the people who had knocked out. I slowly raised myself up. I was exhausted, but I couldn't fall asleep. There was just too much to be considered. "Hey. You awake?"

I squinted my eyes, trying to make out the face of who was speaking, "Boone?"

"Yeah. You can't sleep, either?" he inquired.

I shook my head, "I don't think I'll be sleeping for a while."

"Worried?" he asked, inching a bit closer.

"I just have this really bad feeling," I explained to him, "I can't shake it. Especially with that thing out there - "

"You guys didn't get any kind of look at it?" he asked curiously.

I shook my head, "We were in the plane at the time - It just dragged the pilot out and was gone."

He looked contemplative for several seconds, "You need to sleep sometime. How about I stay up so you can get some sleep? I'll wake you if I see anything."

I half-smiled at him, "Thanks. I appreciate the offer, but I think I'll stay up."

"You want some company?" he asked.

"Sure," I nodded, and he grinned at me.

"But just to be sure we're safe," he began, standing up and leanning over a snoring Sawyer. I craned my neck to see what he was doing, but it was too dark. When he returned, he was holding the gun and wiggling his eyebrows playfully. Then, he walked over to Sayid, and took the magazine. I smirked at how slick he had pulled it off, but I guessed it was too soon, because Sayid stirred immediately after.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. Everyone else began to wake up at this outburst.

"Standing guard. You heard what they said is out there," Boone said defensively.

"You took my gun off me, boy?" Sawyer asked menacingly.

"I'm sorry, whose gun?" I chimed in, locking eyes with Sawyer.

"Please, you've never even held a gun," Shannon said to Boone. Then, she turned to the rest of the group, "He doesn't believe in guns. He goes on marches."

"I don't go on marches," Boone protested.

"Everybody calm down," I commanded, looking at every individual face, "I get that we're all on edge here, but relax already. It's my fault he did it in the first place, so if you're going to blame someone, blame me."

"You told him to take it from me? What's the matter, can't do you own dirty work?" Sawyer hissed.

"No, she didn't," Boone snapped, "We were the only ones still up and she was concerned about the thing in the woods coming along while everyone was asleep, so I took it so we'd have protection if it did. I'm sorry for trying to make sure everyone was safe."

I could feel everyone's eyes flicker between the two of us.

"Give it back to me," Sayid ordered.

"Yeah, give it to Al Jazeera, he'll protect us," Sawyer said.

"I'll keep the damn gun," Boone barked.

"We should give it to her," Shannon cut in, indicating Kate.

"Yeah. Kate should hold the gun," Charlie agreed.

"Fine with me," Sayid added, "Well?" he turned to Boone.

Boone gave in and handed the gun over to Kate. Everybody began to go back to sleep, until it was just me and Boone again. We sat in front of the fire wordlessly for a few minutes, "I'm sorry," I said softly.

"It's not your fault. It was my idea," he said, shrugging it off.

"They'll all be sorry if that thing actually does show up," I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Ten seconds with the hillbilly and it'll regret ever coming near us," he joked and I laughed. Then, remembering that everyone was asleep, I abruptly stopped.

"He really is something else, isn't he?" I said, shaking my head.

"In the worst of ways," he agreed. A silence fell over us for a few minutes, but it was a comfortable one.

"I've noticed the way you look at her," I said awkwardly.

He didn't play dumb, and I gave him a lot of credit for that. He just nodded slowly, "She's a bitch. I've known it for years, but I can't help it, you know?"

I nodded understandingly, "You can't help who you fall for."

"You don't think its weird?" he asked, looking me straight in the eyes.

I bit my lip, considering, "Truthfully?"

"Of course."

"At first, I kind of did. But, if I look at it logically, you share no blood relation. And its not like you've been family your whole life. You spent almost half of your life not living with her. I get it. Put two people together long enough, and eventually, someone always catches feelings. It's human nature. It's also human nature to want what you can't have. And if you want my honest opinion, it seems like its more about the chase then her herself."

He was silent for a few moments, digesting my words. He nodded appreciatively, "Thank you."

I waved my hand, "Don't mention it. Besides, I've heard worse. My best friend in the second grade had a thing for her fully biological brother."

"Well, that makes me feel a lot better," Boone said.

"Glad to be of help," I said honestly.

As soon as everyone woke up the following morning, we began the rest of our journey back to the beach. We walked for a couple of hours, mostly in silence, as everyone was pretty groggy, before finally making it back. As soon as we got there, I excused myself from the group and walked for a few minutes down the beach. I needed to clean myself up badly. I looked around to make sure none of my fellow castaways were nearby before stripping and walking into the ocean. It was almost as if I were washing all of my problems away along with the dirt that was covering my body. My back burned severely, but I did my best to ignore it.

_ I was sitting down, feeling uneasier than I had ever felt. My leg shook anxiously, a habit of mine. I just wanted to get this over with. I needed to get it done with, so that I would be able to put it all behind me. "Ashley," I heard my name being called. My reflexes nearly made me look up, but I wasn't sure I was ready. Oh well, there's no turning back now. I lifted my head to look her in the eyes._

_ "Hello, Mary," I said uncomfortably as the woman threw her arms around me, pulling me into a hug._

_ "I'm glad you changed your mind," she said, her eyes beginning to water. _

_ "Yeah, well," I said awkwardly, "My problems with him shouldn't be my problems with you, right?"_

_ She smiled brightly, a tear streaming down her chubby wrinkled face, "I'm just so overwhelmed. I thought about this moment for the last twenty-two years. I gave up thinking it would ever actually happen..."_

_ "Well, here I am," I said, forcing a smile, "H-How is he?"_

_ Her smile turned into a frown. She shook her head back and forth slowly, "He's not good."_

_ I nodded my head, unsure of what I should say, "I'm sorry."_

_ "Would you like to see him?"_

_ I knew that question was inevitable. Truthfully, no, I didn't want to see him. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. I had made it the first two decades of my life without knowing him. I didn't need him then and I didn't need him now. But I _did_ need him, strictly for information. Nothing more, nothing less. All he was to me was a way of getting answers to questions that had been permanent fixtures in my mind since I was six._

_ "I guess I should, seeing as I came all this way," I responded. I stuck my hand in my pocket, feeling the paper that I had printed out before leaving to catch my flight. _

_ She led me down a corridor and walked through the third door on the right, "She's here," I heard her say, before stepping aside to let me through, "I'll give you two some privacy. You have a lot to catch up on." She walked out of the room, leaving me alone with him. I got my first face-to-face look at him. He seemed a lot different than the pictures I had seen._

_ "Hi, Chris," I said emotionlessly._

_ "Ashley," he said, looking at me intently. He was taking in every detail of me, just like I was with him, "You're so beautiful."_

_ "I, uh, I got your hair. You can't tell because I dye it brown, but if you look at the roots, they're blonde, like yours," I was beginning to babble, but he didn't seem to mind._

_ "What made you come?" he wondered._

_ "I heard you were sick," I said honestly, "And I heard it wasn't likely that you were getting better. So, I saw this as my one and only opportunity..."_

_ "...To get to know me?" he attempted to finish my sentence, but unfortunately, I had been thinking something entirely different._

_ "Truthfully, no. I saw this as my one and only chance to tell you how much I despise you... How much I've always despised you. I've never hated someone so much that I never even met. I hate you for what you did to her... For what you nearly did to me. I hate you for waiting until I was fourteen to contact me. I hate you for treating me like an idiot, for telling me you couldn't find me when the truth is, you never bothered. I was in the same place my whole life and you knew it. You could've come by anytime you wanted. I hate you for making up all of those lies about her. I hate you for making the two of us miserable. I hate you for using medical information as a bargaining chip. I hate you for controlling our lives from so far away. I hate you for not giving her the divorce. And most of all, I hate you for _making_ me hate you. But I wouldn't change any of it because the alternative, having you be a part of my life, would've been worse than any of those things. So, I guess I'm here to thank you for being such an unimaginable asshole. I dodged a huge bullet, and I'm thankful for that."_

_ And then, something unreal happened. Something that only happens on television and in the movies. His hand flew to his chest and he began to grasp at it. I could tell he wasn't breathing and I just stood there. I was frozen. For years, I had hoped for this. Wished for it, even. And now that it appeared to actually be happening, I felt... satisfied. If it were anyone else, I would've helped. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had wanted this for too long to back down now. I could tell he expected me to call for help, to try and save him, but I just stood there, watching the life leave his eyes... And then, he became very still, and I knew he was gone._

_ "M-Mary!" I yelled, and she came charging into the room much quicker than a woman her age and weight should._

_ "Chris! Chris!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face, "No, no, no..."_

_ "I-I should go," I said, my eyes wide with shock, "I'm so sorry, Mary. I'm so, so sorry..." I spun around and hurried out of the house as fast as my legs would carry me._

_ I needed to get away from this place. I needed to get away from Australia as quick as possible. There was nothing here for me. I had gone off on him before I ever even got to ask my questions, and now I'd never know their answers..._

By the time I had finished bathing, my clothes were nearly dry and almost completely dirt-free. I threw them on quickly and headed back down the beach. "Excuse me?" I heard from my right as I reached the group.

I turned my head to get a look at whoever was trying to get my attention. It was the black guy and his son. "Hi, I'm Michael, and this is my son, Walt. He thinks he found your bag," he said, handing it over to me.

"Oh, well, thank you, Walt," I said, smiling at the boy, "I'm Ashley," I said, extending my hand. Michael grasped it and shook it, and then Walt did the same.

"Oh, right," Michael said, nodding his head as if piecing something together, "You're from New York, right?"

I cocked my head to the side, "What gave it away?"

"The accent," he said with a grin, "Well, and the fact that you said 'so am I' when that Rose lady said she was from the Bronx."

I laughed stupidly, "Well, that'll do it. Where are you from?"

"Manhattan," he replied.

"Hey, mini-me!" I heard from behind me, just as I was about to open my mouth to speak. I reluctantly turned my head to see Sawyer walking towards me. I excused myself from Michael and Walt and walked in his direction.

"I think I preferred my other nickname," I said distastefully.

"You got it, Thumbelina," he said, winking at me.

"Did you want something, Sawyer?" I asked, bracing myself.

"Nope," he said, smiling childishly, "I just figured I oughta save you from Chris Rock over there."

I looked at him incredulously, "I didn't need _saving_. He was just giving me my stuff back," I said, holding it up and swinging it back and forth.

"If that's what you wanna call it," he said suggestively.

"That's seriously gross," I said disgustedly, "I'm probably closer to the kid's age than his."

I kneeled in the sand and opened up my bag, which was one of three I brought onto the island. I began rifling through my stuff, throwing things in the sand behind me. "Jeez, you got diamonds buried in there or something?"

I ignored him and kept searching through my things. Finally, I was able to locate what I had been looking for. "Well, well," he said, lifting his eyebrows in amusement, "What have we here?" he asked, picking something up that I had thrown behind me.

I turned around to get a look at what he was referring to and rolled my eyes, "A picture of me and my missing cousin on the beach?" I asked.

"Oh... Right," he said, obviously stumped over what to say next, "She's... cute."

"She's eighteen," I informed him.

"That's legal," he reminded me.

"You know, just when I think you couldn't be more of a pig, you hit a new low," I said, shaking my head at his lack of tact. I began to storm off in the other direction.

"Hold on!" he yelled after me, but I didn't bother turning around.

"You okay?" I heard, and I tore my gaze from the sand to Jack's face. I got water in my eyes as it had begun to rain.

"Yeah," I said, walking towards him, "I'm all right."

"Did Sawyer do something?" he asked, his eyes flickering to where he stood.

"Just being himself," I shrugged, "He's either the biggest asshole on the planet, or he has absolutely no social skills."

"I'd venture both," Jack replied and I smirked.

"So, how are you, anyway? I haven't seen you since we got back," I said as he offered me a bottle of water, "Thanks." I realized we were heading to the guy who was most likely dying.

"I've been with him," he said as we were about to enter to mock-infirmary.

But when we walked in, the man who I expected to be unconscious, had his hands wrapped around Kate's throat and she was struggling to get out of his grasp. There was something in his eyes I couldn't quite place.

"Damn it! Damn it!" Jack burst out as we both lept forward to break it apart. And then it hit me. It was the first time I had ever gotten a close, good look at the injured man. He was the guy sitting next to Kate on the flight. He was the marshal that Sawyer had mentioned. The marshal's body began to convulse, and Jack rushed to his side, "Just breathe. Come on, come on, look, look at me, look," then, he rounded on Kate, "What did you do?"

"I was just checking if he was... he jumped on me. He grabbed me. Is he... okay?" she asked, clearly shaken.

"He's not responding to anti-biotics, he's bleeding internally, his fever's pushing 104, and his abdomen's rigid. He needs water."

Jack left the tent, and Kate followed, but my feet were glued to where I was standing. I stared at his face in bewilderment. What could Kate have done that was so bad that would make him do that the moment he woke up? Jack came back inside without Kate and I looked up at him, "Jack..."

"I don't know what she did, if that's what you're gonna ask," he said, walking up to the other side of him.

I opened his mouth with my two index fingers and looked up at Jack, waiting for him to pour the water in, "That's not what I was going to ask... I was going to ask if you think you're saving him, or if you're just prolonging his death?"

Jack looked at me, clearly not sure how to answer, "I have to try, don't I?"

"Do you think he wants this?" I asked gently.

"I can't just throw in the towel, Ashley," he said defiantly, "He deserves better than that." He began to cry out in pain and I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling terrible about how badly he was suffering.

I nodded slowly, realizing that Jack would never be the type to pull the plug, "So, I guess you know, then?"

"About Kate?"

"Mhmm."

"He-uh... directed me towards her mugshot. It was in his pocket," Jack replied, "Did you see it, too?"

"No... I saw her on the plane," I answered hesitantly, "I don't think she did anything to provoke him, Jack."

He nodded stiffly, but I could tell deep down he believed it, too.

"I'm gonna head back to my... plot of sand," I said, not really sure what to call my little shelter.

He said something that I wasn't quite able to make out, but I assumed it was some form of "bye", so I continued my exit. After I had walked several feet out, I heard a familiar voice saying, "I wish he would just die already."

"Real humane, Shannon," I heard Boone say as I grew closer. A part of me was disgusted with Shannon's comment, but then I realized in a way, I wanted the same thing. I didn't want him to die, necessarily, but I wanted him to be out of his misery, and that was quickly becoming the only way. Boone caught my eye and walked over to me, concern etched on his face. Shannon spun around to see what he was talking towards, and her eyes slightly narrowed.

"I'm getting the feeling she doesn't like me," I said, not breaking ther stare.

He shrugged, "I don't think she likes anybody." I laughed and his eyes flickered to my arms, "Are you okay?"

I followed his gaze, unsure of what he was referring to, "Oh. It's probably just a scratch," I said, wiping the couple of drops of blood off my arm.

"Those look like fingernail marks," he observed, "What happened?"

"Oh, that probably happened when the marshal woke up," I said, remembering him grab my arm as I assisted Jack in prying him off of Kate, "He kind of freaked out a little. Can't say I blame him."

"Wait, the marshal? How'd you know he was the marshal?" he asked interestedly.

"I saw him on the plane," I answered honestly.

"You did? Did you get a look at who the prisoner was?" he asked, his curiousity visibly growing.

I shook my head, "Nope. It never occurred to me that he was transporting a criminal, so I didn't bother looking in the seat next to him. I just figured it out because I remembered seeing him with a gun," I lied effortlessly.

"Oh," he said, looking slightly disappointed, "How's he doing now?"

I shook my head once again, "I don't think he's going to make it. I think Jack's just buying him more time at this point."

He nodded his head understandingly, "Are you hungry?" he asked, offering me a bar of chocolate.

I smiled at him appreciatively. "Thank you," I said sincerely, reaching out for the candy bar he had extended to me.

"No problem," he replied, smiling back. Just then, my eyes widened in terror as I heard a _BANG_ from behind me. We spun our heads around just in time to get a look at Sawyer walking out of the infirmary holding the gun as Kate walked away.

"What did you do?" Jack demanded.

"What you couldn't. Look, I get where you're coming from being a doctor and all, but he wanted it. Hell, he asked me. So, I don't like it any more than you do, but something had to be done," Sawyer responded.

Just then, something horrific happened. Everyone grew dead silent as the sounds of choking sounded from the tent.

"Oh, no way. Guys?" Hurley said in disbelief.

"You shot him in the chest?" Jack asked incredulously as he attempted to stop the bleeding.

"I was aiming for his heart," Sawyer answered.

"You missed," Jack noted, stating the obvious.

"Man, is he still breathing?" Hurley asked, peering into the tent.

"You preforated his lung. It'll take hours to bleed out," Jack told Sawyer.

"So what is - I only had one bullet," Sawyer stammered.

"Get out. Get out!" Jack commanded.

"Oh boy," Hurley said as he exited. I locked eyes with Sawyer as he made to leave, and I could see in his eyes how truly awful he felt.

I lingered after the two of them left. "Do you need any help?"

"No," he said, not turning around, "Just go, you're not gonna want to see this."

"Okay," I whispered, giving Jack one more glance as I made my way out of the tent. As soon as I exited, I saw Sawyer, the pain in his face evident. I slowly walked over to where he stood.

"You did the right thing," I said gently, "The execution may have been questionable, but it had to be done. Don't beat yourself up too much, all right?"

He remained silent, just staring off into space. I realized trying to make him feel better was just going to be a waste of my breath, so I started to walk away.

"I hope you find your cousin," he called after me and I turned around and smiled gratefully. He nodded his head and I nodded back at him and continued walkking away.

Boone, who had been standing in the same place since all of the chaos had begun, came walking towards me from about twenty feet away. I noticed that the screaming had stopped and that Jack was no longer inside the tent. "Do you - d'you wanna take a walk?" he asked, looking around at Jack and Sawyer as he spoke.

"Yeah, sure," I said, starting to walk, but then I froze, "Actually, gimme a minute, okay?"

"No problem," he responded.

I turned around and quickly jogged towards Jack, "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he answered stiffly.

"You're not fine, Jack," I disagreed, "I'm not some little kid, you know. I understand how difficult that was for you to do. Especially you of all people. I get how angry you must be at Sawyer, for giving you no choice but to do it. He just did what he thought was right. I'm sorry, I know it had to be hard for you to let him go after all you've done to try to save him. I know he appreciates what you've done for him. You did everything you could. Nobody faults you. I also get that you don't want to talk about it, but I thought I should say something. If you need to talk, I'm here for you, all right?" I leaned in and gave him a quick hug, "Bye, Jack."

I hurried back over to Boone and nodded towards the other direction, "Ready." He led the way and we began to walk away from the rest of the group. The yells began to fade away as we walked further. The rain had stopped and the sky had cleared up tremendously. You could see every single star.

"This is surreal to me," I murmured.

"I think its surreal to all of us," Boone replied.

"Not that," I said, nodding my head up to the sky, "_That_. You never see this in the city. I never knew the stars could be this bright."

He followed my gaze upward and nodded, "Yeah, it's something else, all right."

"It's kind of fucked up, isn't it?" I said, "I mean, think about it... If we weren't stranded and if there weren't an army of polar bear and a monster nobody can see, this place would be beautiful. But because of the circumstances, we want to be anywhere but here. Take away all of the crazy bullshit, and you've got a dream vacation."

He laughed, "If we ever get out of here, we can come back and build a resort," he joked.

I shook my head back and forth frantically, "You have fun with that, hope you make millions. Me? If I get off, I'm never looking back."

He smiled, "I can understand that."

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say Shannon was a bit jealous," I told him.

"The word you're looking for is posessive," he corrected me, "Besides, she's just worried that I'll stop looking after her if I'm too distracted."

I smirked, "Ah, now I get it."

"What do you mean?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You like that she needs you," I noted, "You like to feel needed, and she gives you that. Just like she needs someone to take care of her."

"There's more to her than what meets the eye," he explained, "She can be a real bitch, but she's got reasons for being the way she is. She didn't have a good relationship with my mother."

"Then why does she take it out on you?" I wondered.

"It's complicated," he said hushedly. I didn't push the subject, and he seemed grateful for it.

"You know... going to Australia was the first time I ever left the country," I said scornfully.

He chuckled, "That's pretty funny."

I softly pushed him, "No, it isn't! If we ever get back home, I'll be too scarred to ever consider leaving again. I'll have to have my honeymoon in Atlantic City."

He laughed again, "Don't say that. You could always take the train to Disneyland."

I rolled my eyes, "How romantic."

"Did you have a boyfriend back in New York?" he questioned.

I thought for a moment before answering, "I broke up with him a day before going to Australia."

"Oh, I'm sorry. How long were you together?" he inquired.

"Two years," I answered, "He actually wanted to get married."

"So what was the problem?" he asked.

"I didn't," I replied truthfully.

"Well, you are young," he reasoned, "You have tons of time for that."

"Yeah, but that wasn't the only reason. He was emotionally immature. As much as I loved him, I knew he wasn't going to be guy I married. I probably should've ended it earlier, but I couldn't," I explained.

"And then eventually you get comfortable with the person," he added.

"Exactly. It got to a point where I still loved him, but I wasn't _in_ love, you know?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "I know all about that."

We had walked awfully far away from the group. I hadn't been this far down the beach yet. I had no idea what time it was, and I didn't really care. In a way, it was nice, getting away from my problems back at home. Sure, my problems here were probably worse, but at least there was no emotional drama. Just the standard struggling to survive. Then, the familiar blood-curdling sound came from the jungle, shaking the leaves on all the nearby trees.

"Run!" I screamed, grabbing Boone's arm and pulling him. He found his footing and followed, sprinting right alongside me. When we reached the camp, everyone hurried towards us.

"What happened?" Jack demanded, being the first to reach us.

I had trouble opening my mouth to speak. I had lost my breath from running so quickly, so Boone stepped in to answer, "That thing - it was out there."

"Did you see it?" Shannon demanded.

He shook his head, breathing too heavily to actually form the words.

"How far away were you?" Kate asked.

"About half a mile," Boone replied, and Jack turned to me.

"Are you all right?" he asked, as I was doubled over, panting.

I nodded, "I have... breathing problems." My hands were shaking, which isn't uncommon for me, as I have naturally shaky hands, but this was ridiculous.

"Asthma?" Jack asked.

I shook my head, "M-My doctor couldn't tell." I began to breath more steadily and I slowly caught my breath, "He gave me the test, and he said it was right on the line. I did it two more times with two different doctors and I was told the same thing."

He nodded, "How are you feeling now?"

"Better. It just takes me a long time to catch my breath, that's all," I said, waving everybody off, "I'm fine, really."

"Well, just humor me and relax for a little bit, okay?" Jack said, his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, sure," I said, looking around at everybody's worried faces, "I'm not sure how far back we lost it."

"It's almost like its just playing with us," Boone said contemplatively.

"I'm gonna get some sleep," I decided, looking around at everyone, "Goodnight, everybody."

There was a chorus of everyone saying goodnight, and I walked over to my little sleeping area. I heard someone behind me and I spun around, "Is this yours?" they asked, "Its got your name on the inside, but I figure Ashley's a common name."

I squinted in the darkness to make out the speaker's face, "Oh! Yeah, that's mine. Thanks, Hurley," I said, taking one of my other bags from him.

"No problem, dude... You're okay, right?" he asked, studying my face for a clue as to what I was feeling.

I smiled warmly at his genuine concern, "Yeah, I'm good. I'm from New York, I see worse on a daily basis."

He smiled back, "I'll catch you tomorrow. Night."

"Night," I said back, zipping open the duffel bag and pulling out the travel pillow I had packed for the plane ride. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off into sleep, grasping Sophia's necklace that she had asked me to hold on to for safe keeping.

**I may wait until (if) I get any reviews to post the next chapter. Not much sense in continuing if nobody's reading. But I don't know, I haven't decided anything for sure yet. If anyone out there is reading, I hope you liked this chapter. **


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